...life as it is...

blue of health

2009-10-28T09:06:00.000+08:00

gusi bengkak sbb gigi bongsu nk tumbuh
obiously akan ade sakit gigi jugak kan
smpai tak leh nk bukak mulut
nak ckp pon x de mood

pastu semlm tekak dh start rase scratchy2
tanda2 awal nak demam
temperature pon mcm ade sikit
hidung bocor tak yah cakap la
semalam je dah 1/2 kotak kot tisu tu msk tong sampah

tambah pulak dengan sakit kat tempat cucuk H1N1 vaccine
baru je hilang yg sakit cucuk flu vaccine last week

tp gigih kan jugak g skolah
wlpon dean dh berulang kali ckp kalu ade flulike illness duk umah senyap2 seminggu
free2 dpt cuti seminggu
tp bile tgk kriteria mcm tak layak je
no cough and temperature tak tinggi sgt

sabtu ni nk oncall
kalu tak pegi nnt kna extend lg 440 tu
so confuse now, should i go school or just stay home?

dinner dash

2009-10-26T16:17:00.000+08:00

been having this craving for clams for some time
manage to get my hands on them yesterday during grocery shopping
just a quick cook, a very simple dish

wat u need
-clams, any type should do. I used Manila clams as it's the only one available here
-onions
-bird-eye chili
-lemongrass *ketuk2 sikit*
-salt n sugar for taste

how to
-sautee onion and bird-eye chili
-throw in the lemongrass, clams and pour in the water for the soup
-salt n sugar to taste, u can also sprinkle in some coriander if u like
-simmer till all the clams open up
-serve n njoy!

pergh, hisap kepah n hirup kuah dia panas2 sentap ok!
teringat time kecik2 dulu slalu g pantai, kutip remis
pastu blk goreng kicap, mkn smpai pecah bibir
good memories :D

fast and furious

2009-10-24T23:11:00.001+08:00

drove a brand new Nissan Sentra today *high*

by brand new, i mean really brand new
like year 2010 punye model and only 700km on the odometer

ergh, tis gonna make buying a second hand car for clerkship so hard
like du'uh!

the week it was

2009-10-23T17:39:00.001+08:00

not so quick recap of the one hell of a week

freaking early start of the week. 730 and there I was, in scrubs n rolling patient into OR at Foothills, on Monday morning! worked til 1230, grab a slice of vege pizza from the cafeteria and headed to group discussion on labour and delivery.after that, decided that brain already exhausted and went home instead of rolling into lectures

Tuesday is clinical informatics exam, a 15 mins exam seeing how well you do searches for relevant articles for clinical question. Yeah, I heard ya...FTW eh? and so funny they have to sent us 5 emails reminding that we have to sit for the exam haha nmpak sgt student tak amek port pon subject ni

got my flu shot on Wednesday. FYI, saya takut jarum but yet, I'm on my way becoming the one doing the jabbing n more haha then got discussion on professionalism, blergh I know...see all the extra work they put us thru med school? to think we only have to focus on learning the body parts n how it works n the diseases haha high hopes for u med keeners :p

other than the usual lectures and one group discussion session, Thursday pretty ok. Physical exam session got canceled so went for neuro exam review. soalan no 1 dh salah hahaha but in my defense, mmg i can't make head or tail of the picture for the question even after 10 times seeing it...anyway, kira2 markah n praying hard that passing mark won't be that hard or I'm screwed! Then went to practice breast exam, speculum exam and bimanual exam for next day Well Woman session, of course the practice on models first before you get the real patient to practice on...got home n check the email n the result for neuro exam already in inbox *dup dap* I passed! by 2 marks! who cares! I freaking passed!!! wohooot!

Friday's group discussion a bit out of box, just sit back n watch one of us do history and exam on emergency case in obstetrics. Decide to hang around til Well Woman session on 1pm. So the Well Woman is a learning experience where they have volunteers coming in n you get to practice ur skills in taking sexual history and then performed gynae exam. The history part is where you get to ask personal, sensitive question about their sex life and yada yada. Then the examination part where you do breast exam and pelvic exam. Yes, you get to 'massage' the breast n put your hands into their vajajay n said its all for learning purpose, med school do have it perks. And yes, we have the same teaching session for man called Well Man in 1st year. For the man you get to exam their penis n stuck ur fingers up the anus. Still think medicine is a glamorous work?

the week felt super long that when the session finished I was so relieved that it's finally weekend! parrrrtayyyyyyy timeeeeee peepsssssss!

sweet love

2009-10-21T19:45:00.000+08:00

to the world, you maybe one person
but to one person, you maybe the world

dark, dark place

2009-10-18T23:12:00.000+08:00

you know u're in dark place of mind
when u find yourself in constant need to get away from everything
you take refuge in unlikely places
anywhere else but cold and hostile home
you know running away won't fix the problem
but it feels so damn good to escape
even if it's only temporary

and it really doesn't matter what ur escape be
just as long as for a moment in time, u're not breathing in the reality
then u came home n all alone
n it all sinked in
then u know u just hit rock bottom
n the worst part?
u have no idea how to crawl out of the pit

oh how i have been escaping too much lately

good slurpies, bad slushies

2009-10-15T03:21:00.001+08:00

it's been snowing for 2 days straight here in C town
yeap, snow in Oct, bliss NOT!
looks like the snow gonna be around til April or god forbid, May!

anyhow, it's warming up today with high of 5C n forecast of above 10C for the weekend
the only thing worse than snowfall in October is when it alternates with periods of warm weather
the snow gonna melt n mushies n slushies
dark, dirty slushies that gonna turn my pure white sneakers into dirt infested unrecognizable pair of feet coverings
waaaaaaa!!!!
then it gonna refroze n become the fames black ice
oh lord save the bum pleaseeeeeeeeee

time to shop for a new darker coloured sneakers perhaps?
or maybe a new boots with better grips on ice?
hihihihihi

did u sold your soul to the devil?

2009-10-14T16:22:00.000+08:00

I would say yes

quiet nite

2009-10-13T00:47:00.000+08:00

oncall again tonite, 6pm til 11pm
tis time for ObsGyn anesthesia

a really dead quiet nite
spend most of the time reading n teaching with the preceptor
saw one epidural n dats bout it
the hubby was so supportive, keep telling the wifey she's doing great
kalu kat msia mampus, husband yg terketar2 lutut mintak tunggu kat luar
pastu ckp besar nk anak reramai
beranak sndrik boley?!
and the epidural helps with the pain
or else i think some verbal hurling is in order
hahaha

still snowing outside
even the babies have a good sense n stay in, not wanting to come out
wonder where all the wisdom go when u get older?

be grateful

2009-10-12T07:01:00.000+08:00

this Thanksgiving I gave thanks that I have you in my life now
*loves*

swipe away

2009-10-11T19:25:00.000+08:00

say hello to future source of Dalilah's bank account bleeding to death
just activated my Visa
how on earth did they preapproved me for a CAD7500 limit?
I have to fight tooth n nail for my Mastercard limit of CAD1000
n why oh why did I said yes to it?

ok, it is so gonna be my strictly EMERGENCY ONLY card
hahaha as if!
die la~ die la~ die la~ die la~

olfactory orgasm

2009-09-29T12:26:00.000+08:00

ok, so I'm a perfume whore
I have bottles of perfume and am using it all at once n am itching to get a couple more
oh so membazir i know but mcm dh buhsan ngn current perfume
pdhal tak smpai separuh botol je yg tgh guna sekarang neh

anyway, apart from perfume for self
I also have a thing for homme line ups
like right now, I am sniffing of Calvin Klein Euphoria for Men
terus turned on n hilang stress okeh
ngahahahahahaha

so I like my men to smell pleasant, nothing wrong kan?
*note: pleasant, not like botol perfume pecah ok?!*
and i like them to do a bit of manscaping as well
not fair wat, u want us to look pretty n smell nice tp anda itu?
plus, no harm in being a bit metrosexual

funny to think in animal kingdom
the male species are the one with colours and pretty pattern and the female are the blergh ones
and why do u think birds spend so much time grooming their feathers?
or the peacock showing off their pretty tails?
in human kingdom terbalik pulak yer?

ok, enuf crapping for the day
side effects of studying the brain makes u go cuckoo

back to sniffing
aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
*koya*

monday morning blues

2009-09-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

ROTFLMAO!!
do watch till da end
sindir baik punya!!!

i'm like a bird

2009-09-27T22:25:00.000+08:00

they said
if you love someone, set them free
if they come back, you're meant to be together

but
will you still be waiting when they come back?
will you still be there?

bliss

2009-09-23T13:36:00.000+08:00

33C in fall?
hello global warming!

flip flop+tank top+hot pants at the end of Sept?
priceless
sipping ice capp n ogling shirtless guys?
double awesomeness

just hope tis doesn't mean later n prolonged winter
hate it when it's May n snow still around
blerghhhhhh

for day like today

2009-09-18T12:47:00.000+08:00

am so not in mood for school anymore
must be the looming Eid celebration tis weekend

missed the sahur today
a week break is so not good for the rhythm established

skipped the morning class and cooked the peanut sauce to go with the satay and nasi himpit for the last iftar get together at Yasemin's place tomorrow

forced self to show up early for the core session an Dr White's enthusiastic compliment on my super punctuality help ease the boredom with med school stuffs
saw 2 patients, one with proximal weakness the other with distal weakness and muscle atrophy
as always, clueless like Alicia Silverstone for i haven't study much for this course
so very da suicidal la Dalilah oi!
went to fetch the car for the weekend
yup, am renting again tis week
told ya i'm addicted to driving
last week was Toyota Yaris Sedan, tis week is the cute Suzuki SX4
me likeyyyyyyyy~
went to do groceries for the Eid cookings
break the fast at Marrybrown
only reached home at 10pm -amboi, ade kete trus panjang langkah naaa- and just finished marinating the chicken breast for the satay
tomorrow gonna be the cooking day
dun u just love being the domestic goddess?

on your toes

2009-09-17T13:08:00.000+08:00

"....because the snap judgments, the ones that comes to us quickly and easily without hesitation, they're the one that haunts us forever " Meredith Grey, Sympathy for the Devil

i must be the most indecisive being to ever walk on earth
i can't say ay or nay on the spot without taking a good chunk of time
i can say goodbye to emergency department no doubt

it's hard to choose which path to follow
and being me, when most of the times i have no idea what i want
not making it any easier
yup, most times, i have no clue wat i want
but most of the time when i didn't know, i know wat i dun want
good thing maybe?
bad thing probably?

thing is nothing in this world without sequel
u can't made a decision today out of whim n not care if it gonna come back bite you hard in the ass the next day or the day after or ever
but it does feel good to do exactly just dat
a bold, consequences be damn choice
right there and right then
we'll worry about tomorow as it comes =)

que sera sera

2009-09-16T18:35:00.001+08:00

when i was young, my teachers ask me wat i want to be when i grow up
wholeheartedly i answered
I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR!

so i bust my ass off in school and got into med school
5 yrs into it and still have 2 more years to go
-mind you i'm still doing my undergrad medicine-

nowadays, my preceptors ask me what kind of doctors i wanna be
i just smile and said
I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET
while in my heart, i answered
I TRULY WISH TO BE A FULL TIME HOUSEWIFE
haha dun play2, housewife with MD tu, ko ado?

is it to early to give up on life?

forever young

2009-09-15T17:55:00.001+08:00

met my geriatric patient today
67 yrs old lady, somewat vague and confused at times
but her stories are disheartening
she's a bit wobbly on her feet from the car accident in the 90's
the long list of meds she's on for her many health problems
aging is catching up, memory seems to fail her sometimes
the long grieve for the husband demise years ago hasn't abate a bit
pictures of her families adorned the walls of her trailer home but none of it represent her relationship with them
she lives with her son who's away most of the time because of his job
her 2 dogs she regarded as her own children who seems to take extra interest on me n keep coming close to sniff up so i give a pat or two
i dun really mind them as long as they dun slobbers on me, so leceh to samak afterwards
the house reeks of dog's smell
no surprise to see dog foods n chew toys on the floors
undoubtedly she's depressed even if smiles plastered on the wrinkled face of her
but she's one damn proud woman, won't let us help her to her feet even if her struggle very apparent

after the visit, i paused and acknowledge the simplest truth
life is hard, just have to make best with wat u have at the moment
the way she did

this is one of the little price we will have to pay for being a developed country
the westerners have long struggle with it
they even tell themselves it's ok to be selfish and said i can't do it anymore
dat it's ok to quit to be the caregiver for their elders
kinda reminded of the fact how a mother can take care of her many children but a child not necessarily can take care of his/her one mother
the elders are a growing population
they are not without skills or knowledge or contributions but nature is winning against them, not dat they can help it
although my heart goes for them but i honestly dun think i can do geriatrics
for it reminds me the fragility of life and to think my parents are heading down the same road
just can't bear the thought

yes, you are

2009-09-14T23:19:00.001+08:00

me: so u want to be my hero?
him: am i not already your hero?

*LOVES*

time will heal all wounds, eh?

2009-09-13T16:37:00.000+08:00

here's a thing
wounds never heal completely
scars will take on its place
once the damage is done, it's a done deal
nothing u can do to make it as before again

time lessen the pain
n slowly we all learn to live with the scars
we walked the earth as damaged goods
we will nvr be new n shiny again
we are all chipped and cracked
but we are always whole

there are things u can do to make it right
so tell me wat do i do now?

honk if you see this

2009-09-12T02:40:00.000+08:00

Dalilah is back on the road! *high*
oh well, at least for the weekend

O.M.G gelabi ok drive on right side of road
asek nk tertukar lane jer
hard to put the car in the center of the lane when driver seat on the left
n u get so used to the gear n wat not on the right when u reach for it, u actually reaching for the door handles haha
plus kete tu signal n wiper switch side...nk bg signal terbukak wiper *slaps forehead*
oh well, practice makes perfect eh?
n dun let me get started on the lights n pedestrian n the 60km/hr speed limit

despite all these, i manage to safely drive the girls and guys from point A to point B
Downtown, highway, CrossIron Mills, Superstore ntah mane lg aku redah

I love driving even if i'm not an excellent driver
it offers some sort of escapism, just like writing

I am so getting a car for final year here even if daddy somewat against it
now need to get the license first *excited*

trouble in lala land

2009-09-11T06:54:00.001+08:00

so not in good place rite now

the past still bugging you n potentially screwing with ur future
i thought i am done with the old one
i said goodbyeS, i walked away *again n again*
am currently starting to be happy with the new presence
finally after yrs, opening up again to the possibility of i might have a chance at something real
but u just had to sabotage ur own happiness isn't?
great going, self!

on top of dat family fails to understands you *again*
i know u mean well daddy
n i do consider ur points too
but how do i learn from mistakes n triumphs if u didn't let me have any of it?

at least school puts a few smiles on the face
and a whole loads of pressure in form of decision making and yeah, studying for exams

am waiting for it to pass
with fingers crossed dat things will work out, someway or another
keeping it positive :s

a comeback?

2009-09-10T19:26:00.000+08:00

tis would be my 9478586831274th attempt to write a proper comeback post
I figured after more than 6 months *really? like seriusly? S-I-X?!* of absence I should probably write a decent piece on maybe why I took the sabbatical or at least wat have been happening in that long MIA period of time but heck, words elusively escape me
drafs after drafs
on papers, ipod, laptop, u name it
but somehow couldn't pen down the right stuff to say
maybe there too much stuffs to say I dun even know where to start

I wanted to write again
expressing what I can't say
sharing the quirkiest little things in daily life
oh how I miss venting and ranting out

what started as a collection of only my happy days soon be a witness to my daily struggle with life, both the happy days and the crappy days
once in a while, I reread all of my entries, serves as a reminder of how far I have come, how much I have grown and help understand where I am right now and re-enlighten my destination
when I hit rock bottom, it seems to smile and whispers back that I can get thru it simply because I have in the past n I know cos I got the smile back on my face and laughter back in my voice
but of late, things have become too personal to be shared even if I longed to
of late, there are things I wanted some to know but not others
of late it didn't feel free anymore to say wat I really want
when ppl take offense of wat u write and stop talking to you even if wat u write is true anyway
this is no longer my safe heaven
yet I dun wanna stop
so I took a break

I will write again I hope
writing is therapeutic for me
maybe I'll continue writing here
4 yrs and this blog have seen ups and downs of my life
this is home,my sanctuary,my happy place
but i think a change would be good too
in keeping of the reality i'm living
or maybe perhaps writing anonymously would finally give the true freedom in expressing wat really went thru tis lil mind of self
wat u think?

"Cause in my head there's a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where they're far more suited than here"
-Death Cab For Cutie, Soul Meets Body-

hiatus

2009-02-14T02:01:00.002+08:00

she is taking a sabbatical

she'll be back when she get back

another day wasted

2009-01-29T23:57:00.000+08:00

just like dat...wat a slacker i have become *ketuk diri sndrik*

woke up early for the 830am class where i have to lead the discussions
agak berlari2 anak jugak la takut lambat only to find dat half of the group is still missing in action
not dat i mind, at least i'm not the last one to arrive
cute preceptor..sekali tgk mcm Matt Damon, dua kali tgk mcm Brad Pitt zaman memuda
hoho cuci mata smbil berdiskusi penyakit paru2 hoho

decided to skip lectures n came back for another discussion session later in the afternoon
eat the leftover pasta for brunch while rerunning GG again
no new epi tis week, bummer!

plan to wash hair but then napping center in the brain nudge against desicion making part
short nap wouldn't hurt right?
huh, right! nap la sgt smpai 5 mins to 3 o clock br bukak mata n group discussion at 330pm!
looks like hair washing have to wait til tonite la

no new Grey's tonite *sigh*

making plans for the 'long' weekend
totally skipping tmr morning lectures, prolly go for a visit to Market Mall
Saturday got Marrybrown *halal yo!* picnic n bowling at Chinook
Sunday go tobagoning!!!
bile nk catch up study ni Dalilah oi?!

arrr! set sail on the Seventh Seas y'scallywag!

2009-01-28T14:47:00.000+08:00

pirate tongues totally rocks my socks off!
how arrr ya, matey? rums all 'round!!

no thanks to miss nodee n her mister bf n zek juger
now saye pon terikut2 main Mousehunt
adeih, parah la
jap, nk kna blow the horn for the hunt
15 mins wait time is up hehe

later peeps!

i curse the day you were born!

2009-01-27T15:16:00.003+08:00

oh i am so pissed off!!
damn you Youtube for suspending all the accounts dat had graciously supplied me with the great Grey's scenes
now all my fav scenes dh kna delete!!! *cries*
stupid infringement rules
i still buy the DVDs ok? original one lagik!
anyone can teach me how i can make short clips from the avi files?

eiiii! Rogers Wireless tak abes2 nk suck ppls money tau!
seb baik x kna MI tgk this month punyer bill
CAD70! My God!
usually about CAD4o per month since tak guna sgt pon, just convenient if you have one
ni seme sbb main sms mase kat States aritu la ni
they charge 60 cent per sms?sms to Calgary number jugak pdhal
bloody expensive!!! tau la roaming tp aritu mase blk mesia roaming jugak, siap calling2 lagi tp x de smpai 70 dolar bill aku!
dh la i check nk upgrade to iPhone smpai CAD400
kalu daftar baru CAD199 jork
diskriminasi okehhhh!!
dh la tak leh break 3 yrs punye contract, nnt kna denda lagi CAD200
mereka2 di mesia, bersyukur la dgn Celcom n Maxis n Digi etc
guna hp kat sini sucks giler!!

moments of heaven on earth

2009-01-22T01:15:00.000+08:00

OH.MY.FARKING.GOD!
BEST Grey's episode ever!!!!

no doubt i cried buckets watching this ending

one shouldn't feel for a serial killer who slits his knife thru 5 young woman throat just because he wanted to know how it would felt
but Meredith being all dark and twisty inside decide dat even such person should deserve a little degree of compassion
dat's why she show up at his execution
it's touching to see how scare he was when death is imminent
how he wanted to see at least one face dat isn't filled with hate n rage for wat he had done

and miracle indeed for the little boy
and Bailey, how she crossed the line for this one patient
makes you question yourself, how far would you go for your patient?

the look in Christina face when Derek came knocking at her door telling her Meredith needs her
the moment she realise dat how silly and how long the fight has been dragging on
who r they kidding themselves?
Derek is right, they both need each other to freak about something happening in their life
for her, dating McArmy
so she set aside her pride and be there for her bestfriend when she needed her the most
just what a true friend would do

as for Mcdreamy, i have nothing but admiration and totally CINTA for you!
he didn't get why Meredith went to William execution, heck he loathes William's ilk but he showed up outside of prison for her
and when he knows he can't be everything for her
he went to get the one person Meredith need, her best friend
now, dat's a keeper

reminds me of one person who did the same thing for me once
to this person, just know i really appreciate wat u did
altough i rarely shows such appreciation of those little things you ever shows me

i leave you with my fav quote from the episode

Meredith: "I know it feels wrong, it feels wrong on so many levels I can't even count them but there are no case in any medical books that tells you how to deal with this kind of situation"

positive reinforcement

2009-01-12T13:25:00.004+08:00

i had a good feeling when i finally hand in the papers
well maybe a bit guilty for using only one third of the allocated time
but the prev experience hold me back
i mean, anything could happen rite?

so, i keyed in the lock
the one sheet i dread n anxious to see wat's printed on it
one glance and dat relieved smile slowly creep up my tiny mouth
spreading it into a huge grin of self satisfaction
heart leap in joy, tears brimming the eye
a small victory, a huge meaning

i finally think i can do this
i finally believe i can make it through

you know you love me

2009-01-09T14:49:00.002+08:00

finally finished my Gossip Girl marathon
up till the latest episode yo!
now i'm hooked
seronot jugak tgk upper east side berbitching2 ini

pity them
they have all the money in the world
tp hidup tunggang langgang giler
oh well, u can't have everything in life kan?

till then, XOXO

serves you right

2009-01-08T14:35:00.000+08:00

you have no one else to blame n be mad at except yourself
i didn't rob you of your chances, you yourself gladly took it all away

i hate you for making me feel guilty when i really shouldn't
i hate it you know me so well, you just know which button to push

you have no right to dictate how i should live my life
you denied yourself dat right when you choose to walk out of my life

you know it yourself
but you couldn't help feeling the way you feel right now, dun u?
consider it the price u have to pay
n if it makes u feel better, know dat i pay a higher price
i always do, still do...

reach out the hand

2009-01-06T16:37:00.001+08:00

first day of school

2009-01-05T10:50:00.004+08:00

and i'm already ponteng lalalala
so much for starting anew n putting extra effort considering tis next 2 course not a strong suit for me
but heck, it's just introductory lectures n the sucky ADT exam is now online for a month
how cool is dat? online exam dat's open for a month, with no invigilating wat so ever...Dr Wiki la pe lagi haha

so anyhu...am still throwing away precious time watching the upper east side of Manhattan berbitchy2 sesame sendrik

tetiba saya rase nk ade bucket list of my own
mcm menarik kan?
list of things i wanna do before i die
since u dun know when u actually gonna die, u be more looking forward to complete each dream/task/fill in ur blanks
just so when u look back, u actually do things u wanna do....sort of reminder

first one on the list - new year countdown at NY Times Square being kissed silly by the love of my life. Winter in NY can be as unforgiving as Canada so must have him warm me up plus i need protection from the drunken n high crushing seas of human *note to self - ni nk kna ade HIM dulu br boley achieve*

second one would be bungee jumping!
the higher the better <-- adrenaline junkie
more on the list would be more adrenaline pumping activities - white river rafting, yg jump from the plane tu org panggil ape ek? yes...skydiving~
oh saya sgt teruja with the ideas!

before i forgot, europe tour is definitely on the list

and yes, i wanna work for Doctors Without Borders if i get the chance

wat else? ran out of idea
more like mls nk pikir dh sbb nk smbg tgk XOXO haha
but keep tuned in, the list will be updated from time to time
mayb when i got the time i'll put it up on the side bar

oh yeah, i won't be doing it in dat order...when the opportunity arise, i'll go for it =)

the extra day

2009-01-04T12:47:00.001+08:00

i should really
1. be doing my laundry
2. unpack my bags n clean up my room
3. prepare for the new semester dat starts tomorow -ala, dh nk skolah blk ker? -

instead i am
1. curling up in my duvet *kasi can la weih, lps rindu 2 minggu tak tido with my pinky hearts*
2. trying to finish up Eclipse, the 3rd installation of Twilight saga, quarter more to go since i started yesterday on the plane enroute back
3. while running the Gossip Girl back to back from the very first episode of the first season to the current episode of the current season...not much, just about almost to 40 episode with 1 hr per episode, there goes 40 hrs of my life membazir ke jln kelaghaan...bet the devils are njoying themselves to the max knowing this

time to go home...

2009-01-03T12:17:00.000+08:00

never thought i would missed seeing the white blanket of snow
after 2 weeks of sun n occasional rain n freedom from winter wear bundle
it almost welcoming to be back to the cold, unforgiving Calgary
maybe tis place is becoming more of a home now

but yeah, i miss my pinky hearts duvet
n Missy Moo n Belle
they must be excited to add Baby Sham as their partner in crime

but a break from all things familiar n routine is always good
an escapism
gives you the chance to miss things you've taken for granted, doesn't?

swipe away

2009-01-02T11:57:00.000+08:00

oh i so wanted dat BOSE dock for my iTouch
n dat half price FCUK sweater
n another 2 or 3 Coach bag
n dat lovely Marciano dress dat is 60% off
n dat bright red Banana Rebuplic peacoat in my size dat's half price for the day
wat a pity dat CK jeans doesn't come in my size or the USD20 Guess jeans

everything is soooooooo fucking cheap!!!!
n soooo many choices i go very rambang mata just thinking about it
oh why la u have to max out today my darling?
so spoil the mood to go explore the whole mall
bleeding heart weyh kalu jumpe brg berkenan di hati tp x leh beli sbb x de immediate available funds

i am so coming back to settle tis unfinished business
no need to be Vegas
any other US city with a huge outlet mall would be ok
n let's hope by dat time CAD stronger than USD
totally gonna make sure my magic card is fully functional with lots n lots of credits
anyone wanna join?

the rebel in me

2009-01-01T11:31:00.001+08:00

who's to say when the new year starts eh?
live according to ur rules...much much better!

many takes it a good time to start fresh
resolutions, achievements to go after, disappointments to leave behind
perhaps perhaps perhaps

as for me, last year promise was gloriously broken
and stay broken, not even bothering to even try fixing it
wat a sore loser, can't even keep my own promise to meself
regret? i have learn trying not to have them

wat's next in store?
i have no idea nor expectation
just going with the flow
que sera sera wat ever will be will be lah

oh, to 2009 may i propose a toast of welcome
*glass clicking*

it got me thinking

2008-12-16T14:18:00.000+08:00

newton's third law stated that to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction

org tua cakap mula2 benci, lama2 suka
if dat's the case
say we apply the above law
does it mean dat mula2 suka will change to lama2 benci?
hurmnnnn...

so like when u like a guy, u also dun like him?
in the same amount u like him?
sungguh totaly tidak logika kan?

excuse moi
dalilah mabuk selepas habes 200++ slides on sports medicine

never let go

2008-12-15T19:42:00.001+08:00

not so hardcore

2008-12-14T22:47:00.000+08:00

this came in my email inbox a couple of days ago

so not helping me saving money for the upcoming trip *slaps forehead*

so the plan was to go today
i even manage to lure Kak Ana n Nisa to abandon study mission to go for a lil relaxing time in TD square
at first the small, insignificant detail dat today's temp gonna be -30 degrees plus another -10 degrees with windchill cannot deter us from the shops
very de rugi if dun go rite?
30% on everything plus another 10% on SPC
n i also had my hands on few extra La Senza coupons expiring tmr

but then, oh soooo mls to bundle up
plus i must be out of my mind to subject meself being turned into icicle while waiting for the bus and trains which are really really not reliable in this kinda weather

so, in the end here i am
caving inside my pinky hearts duvet
staring at the obscenely not so interesting Mr P
have to wrapping up derm, ortho is on the standstill yet
exam is in 4 days
then Vegas! n Cali!
oh sin city! n sun! n beaches!
FUN!

living out of lugagge

2008-12-12T15:48:00.000+08:00

it's almost 4 pm now n i just barely started studying today
bad bad progress *geleng geleng kepala*

it's mini snow storming outside
-4 degrees now...not dat bad but i must be out of my mind if i were to set foot outside the door
heck, i dun even to get out the comfy confines of my duvet
let alone my room n my house
hibernating is wat i do best at times like this heheh
lets hope i can add another kilo or two to the staggering unmoving dial of bathroom scale at 40kg in these few days, shall we?

minus 7 days from the warm equatorial sun of the States
ouh, can't wait to be out of bundles of wintery wears
so, just a peek of the upcoming winter break plans

am leaving cold Calgaria on Dec 20th to Viva Las Vegas babeh!
am so gonna go watch Cirque Du Soleil
am still deciding whether to watch Mystere or KA
need to book the tickets fast! n it's so gonna cost a bomb!

will be driving to the magnificent Grand Canyon for a day
then off to San Diego for few days
the up to Anaheim to met up Mickey and the gang
wheeee~ am going to Disneyland!!!

move along to Hollywood and Universal Studios n downtown LA
i am so gonna take a drive along the Beverly Hills roads *perasan celebrities sebentar*
it would be perfect if we are renting the convertibles
ouh, gambar with the big Hollywood sign is a BIG must!

then off to San Francisco
mau tour the jln bukit2 iteww n the famous Golden Gate Bridge
Alcatraz jugak n Pier 39

back to Vegas again on the New Year
mayb go to Madame Tussaud's and not forgetting shopping la
will be leaving all the heat on Jan 3rd
waaaa!!! x nk blk!!! Calgary sejuk!!!

for now it's just me n Jeremy
but who knows, last min addition is totally welcome!
omg, it's gonna be so much FUN!!!
can't wait!!!!

this is not how to hit on girls on Facebook

2008-12-11T13:19:00.002+08:00

pay attention guys
while Facebook/Friendster/Hi5/Myspace n its sepupu-sepapat out there can be use as social tool n platform to mayb finding ur true soul mate/love of ur life/summer fling/just friend/next victim/-feel free to put wateva why u use this services-
tis is not how to do it

dude, i put all of the things u ask me on my info box
i did not spend an hour to build the profile to have me repeating it all in ur face
n if u wondering where the hell Calgary AB is, i trust u know how to utilize Google
i mean you r on Facebook, Google or Yahoo is the most basic of internet, no?

even if u wanna make small talk, try not to make urself look stupid or ignorant
it makes me feel u undermine my intellectuality n dat's not gonna take u far, trust me

dun flood my pic comment box with all the details of u getting to know me
there's the wall or if u value privacy, u would use the messaging option

if u really wanna be friends n get to know a girl
have a decency to say hi n introduce yourself upfront
i mean, some of u dun even have the ball to put up ur own picture
for all i care, u r a stranger, potentially a serial killer
ok, maybe that over the top but there r all sorts of ppl on the net n i have had fair share of these ppl
so if u really want me to take u seriusly
dun do wateva this guy is doing
seriusly...

seriusly...

stop putting thoughts in my mind

2008-12-10T22:11:00.002+08:00

woke up early for derm group discussion
finished 2 hrs ahead of schedule wohooo!

came home n had a bowl of macaroni chicken n seafood soup
found streaming movie of Twilight in not so shabby wonders of technicolor

hungry again after dreaming of Edward
had a plate of spaghetti bolognese drowning in cheddar n mozarella
while listening to House MD teaching on eclampsia

finally get to the business of rheumatology
10 slides into brittle bone n my mind is permanently stuck on thought of filet o fish

wat i wouldn't do to fulfill the cravings

now i can sleep opsss study peacefully

and the devil whispers

2008-12-09T23:22:00.000+08:00

Edie: "I should never shop for lingerie when I'm horny. It's like buying groceries when you're hungry."

yes *nods nods*
all this is nafsu semata2
sedar la wahai diri!!!

the voice is saying : is not u want it, u NEED it
GET IT~

need my ass!
stop tempting me!

give in or fight?
pdhal dh tahu kalah jua akhirnyer

sharpen up those knives

2008-12-08T00:06:00.000+08:00

wat i wouldn't kill to be home for korban this yr
daging goreng, roti bontot cecah gulai daging, sup gearbox, singang daging, kerabu perut, sup tulang, daging bakar, nyicoh perut, paru goreng *drools*
i'm sorry lembu lembu sekalian, u r just food, meant to be eaten

HAPPY EID ADHA
to all who celebrate it

p/s: asal seme org msk nasi dagang ah for raya haji ni?
saya mau jugak!!!
mau mkn saja, x nk buat
nges nges nges

my not so exciting life

2008-12-07T00:37:00.001+08:00

woke up to a raining cotton balls
it was just last nite complaining of where's the snow n the cold?
it's already Dec for heaven sake
n looks whose listening n shove it in our face this morning?
*padan muka*

cook nasi lemak
to ease the craving
no more random mention of nasi lemak on FB ah Bram

tried to study
finish a couple of lectures
it's amazing how u can stay up n immerse urself in 500 pages of vampire love story in one day but it took u 10 or less slides of lecture n u as good as gone into the dreamland
shot me for not doing wat the taxpayers money are paying me to do

spend the nite before watching random movie trailers on utube
feels like doing a movie marathon of all the romantic comedy collections - 27 Dresses, Made of Honor, Definitely Maybe, yada yada
ended up watching Perfume: The Story of A Murderer

tummy doesn't feel so good today
bo-hoo
angin berkoyan-koyan :(

manage to goreng-ing HPOP worksheet, complete with all the condiments bagai
uh, i hate EBMs!

it's already school tmr
blergh!!

i am an angel

2008-12-06T01:31:00.001+08:00

*note: do listen to the song Santa Baby to get the feeling of gedikness needed to menghayati this post muah muah*

my dearest Santa,
i have been an awfully very good girl this year *wink wink*
so mayb when u put my name down on dat forever long list of urs, consider these to put under my tree on the morning of 25th

1. BOSE dock for my iTouch

2. DSLR kit...am still undecided which one i want but i put my trust u will choose the very best for me *puppy eyes* n when i said kit, it means the whole thing with a couple of awesome lenses and filters etc, u get wat i mean tq.....*big kiss on the cheek*

3. Silver Volvo like this

4. or this Mini Cooper dat i always dreaming of

5. the Twilight Saga in hardcover would be nice too

6. then again, i still haven't got the 1st and 4th season of Grey's *hint hint*

7. how about a pink PSP or Nitendo DS or pink PSP and the whole Wii bundle including Guitar Hero n Wii Fit n the Dance Mat too!

8. i also need this to stash away all my pics n torrents n porn *opssss*

9. a really BIG, FAT bank account since i am going to US this winter break

10. Edward Cullen!!!!! *pengsan*

not dat bad huh?
only 10 small little items
*grins*
n i promise i'll thank you in every ways possible
*wink wink*

stay inside

2008-12-05T21:30:00.000+08:00

i've been staying away from wat's happening in hometown
it gets tiring to read the same old news day after day
the only updet i get is from the infrequent phone calls to home
-shoot me for not keeping in good touch with my own family but the time difference can be a big hurdle *alasan!*-
or if Kak Ana ask if i know this n that dat is happening in beloved M'sia

dat's why i was late to find out about Norman Hakim ruckus or the fact that Kuala Terengganu is having a by election soon because the guy is dead while playing badminton or there's another landslide at Bukit Antarabangsa and government immediately calling off all hillside projects -yeah, like after numerous landslides that claimed so many lives already- or it's raining season now and it's already claiming its first victim

growing up i always love the rain season eventough i abhor rain
i was allowed to play air boh but under strict supervision of my family
mind u, i was living with my grandparents and i'm the only grandchild living with them so i get to hog all the attentions
back then, it's still gonna be flooding every monsoon season
after few years they decided to dig a water channel and no more floods *cries*
my uncle would made me a boat out of pelepah nyior and tied to a string
and i would glee in hapiness discovering the big fat earthworm crawling under the rocks
and the special diet of ubi kayu rebus with kelapa parut or pulut with ikan rebus goreng and kelapa parut *drools*
due to close proximity to the beach, the roaring waves somehow become my lullaby and soothes me to sleep
it is a good memory, indeed

hiatus

2008-12-04T12:45:00.000+08:00

dat was the last of Grey's for 2008
no more new epi until Jan 8th
which is fine
i have exam n winter break to fill in the time
so no worries about missing the juicy actions while on the road

all the Seattle guys seems to be oh so suweeet these days
even bad ass Alex n manwhore McSteamy
but hey, McSteamy is a man afterall
u wouldn't think he can say no to Little Grey, wouldn't u?
not when she's begging him with "teach me teach me" speech
and Alex declaring he loves Izzie and sticking by her no matter wat?
u would think the cat will grow horns before the day finally come
*snickers*

so i opened the pandora's box

2008-12-03T03:54:00.004+08:00

i finished the 500 pages of Twilight book in just one freaking day!
so much for studying plan today

i know i won't be able to put it down if i started
but ohh, the temptation is tooooo much to resist
and i do say i gladly give in haha
damn, now itching to read the next book in the saga
n u know after the 2nd book, i'll be wanting to read the third one and the last one
i won't be satisfied until i finished the whole series

whyla it can't be the same when i'm reading the med books
haha wishful thinking la Dalilah!

saje je ltk a peek of the next book and the left it hanging like dat
mmg mengoda jiwa saya yg semmgnyer sedia sng digoda
have to tahan the itch...exam in 2 weeks and less

for those whose still in the dark about wat's all the fuss about Edward Cullen
or for those already head over heels in love with him
silala jamu mata anda...

ouh Ice-y, in this trailer ade part Edward n Bella kiss
mayb not the whole scene but better than nothing
-yup, the scene kna potong in Malaysian cinemas, shucks!-

rockstar!

2008-12-02T14:10:00.000+08:00

730am n i'm in my scrubs
watched ORIF (dat's open reduction and internal fixation for non medical ppl) of fracture dislocation of ankle, manipulation of total knee replacement and repair of Achilles tendon rupture
helped doing the cast

ortho surgery is awesome
all the drilling and plating and screwing
u would think u in a workshop or carpentry sumwhere
ouh, did i mention the blood and the broken bones?
coolness to the max!

the crazy dat it is

2008-12-01T14:40:00.001+08:00

wat else if not the weather of Calgary
finally showing it's true colors

yerp, Calgary's weather mood swing can rival if not triumph over of dat XX species of homo sapiens

how convenient la...i have to go out at 630am tmr for core at Rockyview Hospital
mati kebekuan la aku~

new BFF

2008-11-30T00:56:00.001+08:00

look who wanna be friends with me now

dulu aku nk kawan ko x lyn, now br nk terhegeh2
mintak maap la, x glamer la mak kalu kawan ngn hang skarang

i was so suprised to see the heading when i receive the email
but then i guess she want everybody on imeem to be her friends kan kan kan?
ye la, nk launch new album la katakan
harus baik dgn seme org so dat album sales laku n boley dapat segala macam anugerah anugerih

where's the sky?

2008-11-29T12:11:00.000+08:00

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking
Taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting
Always turn the car around

Shattered-O.A.R

a little twilight adventure

2008-11-28T01:05:00.001+08:00

lala i'm done with part 1 exam
part 2 in 3 weeks or so
so, njoy la dulu
kes kes kes

PE was excellent, i finished in 4 mins out of 6 mins allocated
tests for cruciate ligaments and straight leg raising test and also cross positive straight leg raising test
bykla la plak tanye soklan examiner tuh but i manage to answer all
so yeay to me!
anatomy was a whole different story all together
i can remember almost everything but just as i step into the lab, everything just vaporize into thin air *sigh*
think i didn't socialize enuf with the cadaver over the weekend

so in order to keep my frustration at bay
i came home n bake banana + pecan + chocolate chip muffin
yum yummy yum

then i load in three weeks worth of laundry while spring cleaning the room dat would put tongkang pecah to shame for the last few weeks
then tgh syiok vacumming, the electricity went off!!!
but the funny part it's only my room, Day-o's room n the kitchen part!
but it's a major glitch in the fuse box n everything went back to normal again *peace*

me have to miss twilight premier the week before due to exam
so i rope in Ziah for sum vampire love story~
we left the hse at 6pm to catch the 640pm show
little dat we know sum genius decide to set fire along the 7 ave, halting the train going into n out of downtown
wes, aku nk g tgk movie nih! grrrr!!!
we end up missing the 640pm show n have 3 hrs to kill before the next show

the theater was almost empty
given dat it's been a week since the premier and it is the last show of the nite
yeah, no midnite movies here booo!

the movie isn't dat good but it isn't dat bad either
with all the hype about it, you would expect it to be more
bet the book is better
if u expecting a vampire in action kinda Underworld movie, forget it
but if u wanna watch cheesy teenager love story movie, then go
but EDWARD CULLEN is one HOT vampire!
*drools*
n the volvo he's driving?
to die for!!!!

-spoiler warning-
i love the scene when she found out what he is and he reveal to her why he avoided sunlight
n the part he took her up the trees n plays the piano
*swoon*
the scene when the Cullens are playing baseball? totally cool!!!
might i add the nicely accompanying Supermassive Black Hole number from Muse makes it super duper cool
Edward juge sgt cool mase pakai shades when he drives Bella to school
ahhh jatuh chentaaaa okkkk!!!

we missed the last bus on the way back n have to walk from the train station
across the McMahon stadium n couple of blocks of houses
well, we didn't exactly missed the bus
it did come with the little sign saying OUT OF SERVICE *wtf*

now am finally home n ready to go to slumberland
am loving the wonderful smell of freshly laundried beddings
i shall drift to the world of dreams with edward in it
nite nite

just the right dose of the right drug

2008-11-27T16:19:00.005+08:00

as if they know i'm supposed to focus every fiber of my being into tomorrow's exam
they decided to rerun the season premier tonite
so no new Grey's drama to perk up my day
ok, now i sounds so pathetic for having to rely on the tube to make my life interesting n meaningful
*sigh*

but just to keep me tuned up for next week...

haha
so chute la Denny marah at Alex like dat
but u're dead n dead man can do nothing

how can it be?

2008-11-26T21:17:00.001+08:00

impossible as it seems but it is the truth; it is possible to feel so lonely while being surrounded by seas of people

abg ramly is the KING!

2008-11-24T11:05:00.009+08:00

i was browsing thru textbook last nite when suddenly teringat betapa deliciousnyer burger special abg ramly yg jual tepi jln tu dan betapa nikmatnyer kalu boley menikmati satu atau dua bijik sekarang
u know, the otai burger yg seringgit dua tu, 2 beef patties (bkn sebarang daging burger, mesti yg abg ramly) balut with telur, in a bun with lettuce yg diricik halus, tomato, mayo n sos cili
mine would omit timun batang and onion *yucks, x suker*
i swear at the thoughts of sinking my teeth into the juicy and sloppy burgers, my salivary glands goes to overdrive in a matter of miuseconds
tis is far more superior compare to McD ke, Harvey's ker, Carl's Jr, Wendy etc
regardless ur fancy smanchy burgers

dulu time menetap kat Vista C, ade gerai yg bukak til late nite
sedia maklumla tgh2 mlm tu kan heheh
dan saya suka menyakat abg burger itewww
smpai dia igt how i like my burger, pergi tunjuk muka n senyum saja
burger special, x nk bwg satu siap!
no wonder i gain 2kg in a month when i first start med school dulu

nway, so i put it up
this craving i'm having rite now on my Facebook status
n guess wat my 'sahabat mithali' send me tis morning?

burger abg ramly yg ku idam-idamkan! mungeks tul

bertuah punyer anak pak cik zainal!
ko bagi aku gambar burger jer?!!!!!
waaaaaaa....jahatttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!
kau kijam tau tak? KIJAM!!!!!!!!!!!

behind the smiles and laughters

2008-11-23T09:06:00.002+08:00

Hi, my name is CT and i am a PostSecret addict

the first thing i do every Sunday morning, as soon as i open my eyes is to check out the newly posted secrets of others
it's an eye opener
the ugly truth of the world
and the sunshine joy as well

i have a few if not too many secrets of my own
who doesn't, eh?
i admire those who brave enuf to put it down n share it with the world
albeit anonymously
i haven't found my courage yet
maybe i will, maybe i will never
maybe some secrets are meant to be forever hidden
but for it to be let out...it would be a breather

to crap or not to crap?

2008-11-22T22:16:00.000+08:00

toilet rosak lagi!
tis is like the 3rd time since moved in
prev episodes cleared on it's own

now i have to run downstairs everytime mother nature calls
such hassle tau, nk kna trn tangga yg ade 10 anak iteww
membuatkan ku pikir byk kali nk pepe/popo or not
which is wat i am doing now
*sgt2 desperate need to use toilet tp mls nk pegi*
tp nnt prone to batu karang or constipation
isk isk isk
tak sanggup........

while i love the proximity of the toilet roll of downstairs toilet sbb upstairs punyer is like kat depan instead of tepi toilet bowl n my hands r not long enuf to reach it -taula x guna air to wash up after, but whyla ltk toilet roll holder tu out of reach jugak- downstairs punyer sinki jauh ngn toilet bowl, so kna siapkan air siap2 before going on wit the business
ssh tul toilet mat salleh ni, skarang rindu those pipe getah berlingkaran dlm tandas

ok, back to wc malfunction
tried to fix it with wat little knowledge from Kemahiran Hidup lessons almost 10 yrs ago
only to make it worse
now it's overflowing *yeah, eeee-yewwwwwwwwwwwww*
bagai tikus baiki labu gamaknyer
tried calling the landlord but he's still at work
wth? still @ work @ 7 on Saturday?
dush! dush!
inda mau la call the plumber - dat's who u call kan to fix the toilet?-
plumber here is like cekik darah smpai kering kalah vampire

makes me terigt kisah lama di Vista C
the story of broken pipes
smpai pindah2 umah wakaka
mereka yg terlibat tau la skandal di sebaliknyer
bet u guys smiling at the silliness just remembering it, am i right?

btw, main point is.....
fix the toilet ASAP pretty pls
dun wan to waste precious energy n potential fat deposit going down n up the stairs just to take the leak
not when winter is starting n having the extra insualtion is critical
n i dun have the biggest of bladder
n dat coke isn't helping either
aaaaaaa...daku terseksa!!!!

new ear candy

2008-11-17T10:34:00.005+08:00

top 5 of the moment

ignore the darkness feeling dat comes with listening to the tracks
it lulls me to sleep

bond, james bond

2008-11-15T11:42:00.000+08:00

went to watch this today at persistance of Jeremy
well, dh lama x de guy belanje tgk wayang eventough he have a free pass wateva
hey, free movie! wth, rezeki jgn ditolak yo!

nothing better than a dose of adrenaline
life getting duller by the moment
the weather not helping either

the usual James Bond actions
no gadgets or x-rated scene much *kecewa*
i missed Casino Royale so pretty much buat assumption sendrik byk
but it does delved into a side of Bond nvr before explored
vengence in name of passion
the softer part or may i say the human part of Bond

still don't like the Craig guy as Bond
Brosnan would be more eye pleasing

for Bond diehards, no need to say it is a must
for me, worth going to the big screen
*tak kuar satu sen mmg la haha*
but seriusly, it's been awhile i havent feel the rush from watching in the cinema

a shot of adrenaline can't be bad for the system
wat's bad is the addictive feeling
oh no, i think i might go for Twilight after exam
damn...another 10 bucks melayang begitu sahaja

for the kid inside us

2008-11-14T01:19:00.002+08:00

watched this

in good company of these 'crazy' ppl *larikkk*

last min joining Nisa, Ziah, Mai n Leeshi
i was bored tergolek at home n Day-o was estatic when she find out they're going for movie
so me n Day-o make a pact to join them at Eau Claire cinema since they're going for sushi at Sumo Ten first
with all the confidence in the world, me lead Day-o to where we suppose to met the rest
walking in the -2 degrees in downtown up till 12th ave from 7th ave to realize dat maybe the Eau Claire is the other way round *slaps forehead*
it turns out dat Eau Claire is at 2nd ave
hahahahahahahahaha

kesian Day-o...sorry yer darling

nway, the movie was good but i like the first one better
feels like me n Ziah r the only ppl in the almost empty cinema who laugh
malu okeh, mcm jakun tp gelak mcm dunia aku yg punye jugak
Nisa already dozed off to her own escape to Africa adventure kali

ouh, moto moto *the big konon HOT, sexayyy-hh hippo* reminds me of mr F
got a feeling he's avoiding me..dh ade special sumone kah?
wish i can talk to him one of these days
really miss the conversations :(

simple kind of cooking

2008-11-10T00:10:00.002+08:00

found kacang botol while merayau-ing in one of the Asian supermarket last Saturday
lama betul dh tak mkn
Ice-y n Aliaa in their mission to turn me a greenie eating monster which by the way halfway worked introduce me to this delicacy where kacang botol is gorenged with oyster sauce
i love it..the crunchiness is heaven!

so on my sndrik declare extra day off, i came up with this lauk

kacang botol+chicken+peanut in oyster sauce

n since i'm a type of a cook my mum is -campak je ape yg patut, bajet sndrik la rase camne- simple kind of cooking which i love, no precise recipe to put up here
wat i did was sauted the onions with the chicken, adding salt n pepper for taste
then when the chicken is almost cooked dump in the kacang botol n oyster sos
just before you turn off the api, sprinkle in some peanut
originally i want to put in cashew but i ate all the cashew in the house, so have to replace it with wat's available huhu
njoy it with steaming bowl of rice *drools*
i did with 3 bowls nges nges nges n ratah the leftover...nyaman~

pst...anyone knows wat's kacang botol in english?

yummy raw cuisine

2008-11-05T01:23:00.002+08:00

to celebrate the first snow of winter '08
*yeah, we r dat excited for the snow*
SUSHI NITE!!!!

tis time try out the SUMO TEN in 10th Ave *daaaa~* instead of the usual Sushi Tokyo in Chinatown
they have sashimi but no unagi on all you can eat buffet menu :(
not a big fan of sashimi..too raw for me..korean sashimi is ok though

while waiting for orders
ape lg...camwhoring la~

then it's time to feast!

half of the 1st round
n we had 3 rounds ngeh ngeh ngeh

in the end we had 27 order of sashimi, countless sushi n rolls, 7 orders of edamame *my fav*, 5 orders of kakifri, 10 orders of tempura, 6 orders of teriyaki salmon kama among others
yeah WOW!

kudos to day-o for trying sushi
wlpon muka mcm nk muntah tgk mknan x msk
*pat on the back*
lain kali boley try lagikkk

and it falls...

2008-11-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

making me falls to...

deeply

in love

with the pureness of it

the first snow of winter 2008

my day may not be as good
but it ended well because of the snows
white flakes on my hair while walking home from school
it reminds me of this magical world i'm fortunate enough to inhabit
:) :) :) :)

count the blessings in your life rather than whine about your misfortune

sunday funday~

2008-11-02T00:06:00.005+08:00

impromptu piknic kala senja
with egg n tuna sandwiches, fried rice, minced beef pie, junk foods etc

it gets cold n dark so early these days, we decide to go in

time for lil card games

ape sulah jadi apek? kalah judi kah?

ni lg sorg apek kalah judi

guitar hero addict...expresi muka x boley blah!

apart of all these, i manage to do my laundry n vaccum the sekangkang kera carpet of mine
n finally laid out all the plans for this winter break
details to follow as the holiday approaching~

dudettes gone wild

2008-11-01T23:09:00.004+08:00

just came back from tis fab

and here's the blushing bride-to-be (before transformation)

CONGRATULATIONS dear!!!
wishes u n ur other half all the happiness in the world and beyond!

all girls party!!!
everyone in pretty dresses, put on their make-up n getting their hair done
everybody wants to look their best sbb of course siap ade awards lagikkkk
best dress, best hair, best nails, best chest also got
*slaps forehead*

apart from mkn2, got games of tunang-kawin-cerai, pass the bouquet, runway show n who can do best imitation of the bride among others
also got bellydancing sumore
*gelek girls gelek*

since cannot put up the pics of gorgeous pretty girls
tgk gambar yummy foods dat we had sudah la yer....

last but not least

kasik can la...nk glamer 5 saat

sumone is a year older today

2008-10-20T22:50:00.004+08:00

COOL JANET,
San Ni Kuai Lo!

*did i get it right?*

all the best for the year ahead!
XOXO

magical world

2008-10-16T00:48:00.003+08:00

best Grey's episode ever! well, so far la~

apparently there's this world where docs are happy n patients are nice
n it's called dermatology department

"n i like saying her name" LMAO

there's no yelling, no case stealing, no mocking
everybody just rubs each other n loves lotion n warmth
ouh, n pour fruity drinks too

hey, maybe i should be a dermatologist instead of hardcore surgeon
so i die of boredom, at least i die as happy glowy ppl n great skin too
wat u think?

the only story worth it

2008-10-04T10:57:00.001+08:00

We were both young when I first saw you
I closed my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello
Little did I know
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said, "stay away from Juliet"
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you, please don't go
And I said
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes
So, I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while
Oh oh
Cause you were Romeo, I was the scarlet letter
And my daddy said, "stay away from Juliet"
But you were my everything to me
I was begging you, please don't go
And I said
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes
Romeo, save me
They try to tell me how I feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes
Oh oh
I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said
Romeo, save me
I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you, but you never come
Is this in my head
I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said
Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad
Go pick out a white dress
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you

now, which color shall i get?

2008-09-26T00:20:00.003+08:00

adverts are the almost perfect brainwashing method for sure
i said almost for had i have all the money in da world to spend i would of bought everything advertised
but sadly i don't so yeah adverts is the almost perfect brainwashing method

try having this played every single time it's adverts break during a 2 hr season premier
dat song n dat image definitely will haunt u to ur sleep
makes u wanna own one doesn't it?
nvr mind dat ur free ipod touch dat just come in the mail haven't see past their plastic wrap yet

screw u adverts ppl
u r the one to blame if i accidentally become an owner of this one

something to dream about

2008-09-25T12:46:00.005+08:00

Grey's is back!!!!
my Thursday won't be lifeless nite no more
McDreamy, McSteamy and McArmy?
2 hrs of Seattle Grace is therapeutic
esp this lil scene of old Mer n Yang

my fav scene of the nite when Izzie shows Denny her gorgeous dress *dreamy*

couch potato

2008-09-22T01:35:00.000+08:00

ABC announce it's Stay At Home Week this week
part of it is most of the series season premier will be up so dat is very fine with me
i gladly be a house hermit

let see wat's my tv watching schedule would be this Fall

Sunday - Desperate Housewives on CTV
Monday - Heroes on Global
Tuesday - House on Global
Wednesday - CSI:NY n Criminal Minds on CTV, Bones on Global, ANTM on CW, Private Practice on ABC
Thursday - Grey's Anatomy and CSI on CTV, Ugly Betty on Global, Smallville on CW

there goes my nights
study be damned!
parah.......

priceless

2008-09-20T03:27:00.002+08:00

the ability to laugh at own self

delivery for miss meli?

2008-09-08T13:36:00.002+08:00

2 deliveries dat is

i am one super fully satisfied and hepi girl today *cat licking off the cream kind of satisfaction*

first the UPS guy bearing the small package

woho! my IPOD touch!!

lalala~

i haven't done godek2-ing it when the doorbell rings -again?-

this time it's the FEDEX guy with a big box

*scream*

the-super-expensive-i-can-get-better-specs-but-dalilah-so-gedik-want-it-anyway MACBOOK AIR!!!!!

omg omg omg

my.very.own.MACBOOK.AIR!!!!

mine! all mine!!

*super duper excited beyond words*

ok open the box *dup dap*

take out the real box and open it *DUP DAP*

OMG! *jaw drop*

it is so beautiful syg giler nk guna ok

couldn't even bring myself to tekan the power button on

haha mengada2 i know

but it sooo new n sooo gorgeous n sumthing u've been wanting for sooo long now dat u have it u dun wanna spoil it...

i am SO in LOVE with MY McAerie

*silly grins*

"u won't be home for raya?"

2008-09-06T12:33:00.002+08:00

i can almost see the disappointment in his eyes

definitely hear n felt it in my heart

wat menguris hati more is wat he said next

"ala...kite nk raya ngn kakak, igtkn kakak balik raya ni"

how can i explain dat it would take more than a day to reach home on flight n another almost cad2000? or that there's no holiday for raya here? or the fact that i just been home for the past two months?

it's only few weeks since we last wave each other au revoir at the airport

n he's already asking when the next time he'll be seeing me

well dear, it's gonna be some time till we next see each other

the 2 months wasn't enuf for me or for u

i sure didn't pick on u enuf...sorry about that but dats wat the youngest for

i promise u will see me soon

n mayb in a yr or two we'll be celebrating raya together again

the whole family, with everyone

man's best fren

2008-09-05T13:11:00.003+08:00

i remember growing up, i always wanted a white mice as pet
yup the tikus putih yg biasenyer org guna for lab experiment tu
why white mice? i think they cute n clean sbb kaler putih
but my parents thinks i'm too young to handle the responsibility of taking care of pet
so i never had a real proper lil animal to take care of
kucheng2 yg suki-suki ati dtg menempel kat umah x yah ckp la

when i was living with Puteri in Vista, she had a couple of hamster
so we (me, Puteri n Muni) co-own them, sharing the responsibilities
i love them to bits
it became part of my stress reliever
my source of entertainment
n apparently a very good listener too

towards the end of our stay together, Puteri offer to let me have them but i was flying home
there are no ways i can smuggle them pass the security check
i can't imagine how the guards will react seeing the xray of my hand carry bag
2 small bony structures gerak2
n i dun wan to expose them to radiation
x psl nnt increase risk kna cancer

mama ham n papi ham

i was thinking of getting a couple of it before the summer hols
but having nobody to take care of it for 2 months doused my intention
plus it's not dat cheap

or mayb i can finally get the white mice i always wanted
or a fish like Lizzy's Sir Leonard
cam sronok kalu ade pet to play with kn?

it's been a long day

2008-09-04T18:42:00.000+08:00

woke up at 445am for sahur
go back to sleep in prep for the day ahead

communication class start at 830am followed by ethics small group til lunch hr
n she bringing dat yummy donuts is not helping either

2 hrs anatomy lab drag on til 4pm
the only thing making it bearable is the hot final yr general surgery resident
if only i'm not refraining myself from lewd thoughts in respect of Ramadhan

still got one small group to get thru
i already stop functioning by the time discussing chronic diarrhea
not just me, others who x puasa pon felt drained
i was surfing the recipe blogs for idea wat to cook for buka puasa today while others yakking away in today's case

2 months in Malaysia undone all resistance to cold weather developed last yr
think another bout of flu coming up
blerghhh...

happy news of the day : today is Ziah's bday
so dear Ziah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
hope all ur wish and dreams come true
XOXO

everybody deserve a second chance

2008-09-03T12:26:00.000+08:00

am currently in love with this....

p/s: much thanks to NISA for introducing this beautiful piece

jumping over

2008-09-02T13:57:00.000+08:00

no la, not political parties

just placed an order for a new change in life

not to replace the old one

more like to complement it

hope it worth the hole it had burn in the wallet

the start of the holy month

2008-09-01T12:49:00.000+08:00

HAPPY FASTING TO ALL MUSLIMS

thank God we moved yesterday

all the hard work r done

now just need to arrange n unpack stuffs *darn*

ouh....we had nasi ayam today for break fast *yummy*

am teribbly missing mum's cooking n pasar ramadhan

now everything teringin nk mkn have to cook sendiri

am very jeles of those fortunate enuf to be able to puasa in M'sia

even for just a couple of days

mayb next yr i'll be able to do so *keeping fingers crossed*

nation day

2008-08-31T03:50:00.003+08:00

we've come a long way
we've grown into a fine nation
now it's time to wise up
for the road ahead is still endlessly long
it ought to be rough time ahead for sure
but let it be a place i can proud call and make home
for those before and after me

HAPPY 51st MERDEKA MALAYSIA
*hugs*

p/s: moving to a new place today! will updates wit photos later!

can't wait

2008-08-29T15:49:00.000+08:00

*huge grin*

life is now

2008-08-27T00:58:00.003+08:00

can't believe it's been more than 2 months since i last jotted down sumthing here
feels like a blink of an eye
so....wat's up?

i've been in Malaysia for 2 months
spent awesome 6 weeks in HSNZ
catch up with frens n family
spend a nite alone in Changi enroute back
and now back to med school *bluekkkk*

sooo many stories and sooo many changes
i'll get to it all one by one
in due time

so be aware of backdated entries
just click on june, july and august old keepsakes

need to smooth out some wrinkles life handling me
so laters!

no more

2008-08-24T03:10:00.000+08:00

this light won't be on anymore here

no more the whole doughnut as taste sampler
the sweetness of the glaze n the melt-n-your-mouth original doughnut is a thing in the past
the nearest would be 400+ miles across border

i WANT my original glazed Krispy Kreme
*cries*

while the sun is shining n the grass still green

2008-08-23T01:39:00.000+08:00

last bbq of summer '08
been awhile since everybody got together n have fun n in good spirit welcoming the new juniors

ayu the professional ABC maker

the corn n the chicken

abg budin jual penyodok

aaaa...ngap!

personal fav pic of the day

kami-kami sekalian

*bertukar menjadi jagung bakar supergirl*

mus: akula jejaka plg perkasa!!

cowgirl working with the jagungs

almost the whole brumalindo gang

about a boy

2008-08-15T01:35:00.001+08:00

this is wat my super mengarut bro up to

missing everyone soooo much!

his proud day

2008-08-09T05:09:00.000+08:00

my dear bro finally finished his diploma!

he graduated the top of his class *proud*

the whole family sans the third and fourth bro were there
even nenek and ayah tok also there
*lil sis acted up so not in pic n i'm the photographer*

me n him

bdak kecik perasan grad jugak

p/s: saya sempat merase lemang Kijal before blk Canada
*heppi*

bullet train-ing thru life

2008-08-06T17:05:00.001+08:00

this final week gonna be a super hectic one

just got back from KL last nite
gonna be driving to Bachok on Thursday n spend a nite there
pick up my baju raya
met up with relatives
visit my bro in his boarding school
coming back on Friday evening n early Saturday morning heading down south to Kemaman for bro's graduation
only have Sunday to jam everything into 2 bags n leave on a jet plane on Monday

wohohoho
n i have to study too *dang*
yikes yiki yikes

now, where do i stash the ADHD pills?

stupid theft

2008-08-02T03:47:00.001+08:00

bummer bummer bummer
my Samsung got stolen today
hilang segala updated contact info mereka2 sekalian
waaaaaaaa!!!!!!
x dapat la nk berdating ngn aweks2 n balaks2 semua

i'm going back in a week or so
so not berbaloi spending on a new phone anyway
my Nokia rosak sudah
dun wan to spend rm50 to go unlock my Sony Ericsson *cheapskate*

bongoks mane la yg berkenan sgt ngn phone aku tu
dat phone was so ancient n carries no value pon kalu nk trade in
so bijak lah!

the night

2008-07-19T01:03:00.001+08:00

it would have been a perfect night
had we still what we used to be

in the back of my head

2008-07-16T05:45:00.001+08:00

This won't break your heart
But I just think it could
Cause I haven't tried as hard as I should
To separate you from everything I do
But I would never want to come between us two

I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said
Sometimes so it reminds me

I'll keep your memory vague
So you won't feel bad about me
I'll say the things that you said
Sometimes so it reminds me

Now I'm thinking back
To what I said before
I hope your heart won't have to hurt anymore
Cause it's really not that sad from here
Because the moments I can feel you near
They keep you close to me my dear
And if they ever become too clear...

Now you've gone away
Don't worry it's ok
That you're gone away
Further than yesterday
But you'll never leave these scenes
My mind replays

where all the works takes place

2008-07-05T20:00:00.000+08:00

this is my lil workspace back in Vista C when i first started medical school
reflects nothing of the life i lead at dat time
not dat i'm a messy person
just not a clean freak either heheh

i use my favorite posters from Galaxie magazines i collected during high school years as wallpaper so the paint doesn't peel off when i stick various notes n reminders etc on it
there's Britney when she's all naive n innocent, n the beautiful Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black movie poster and Avril Lavigne cute in pink
i made my own monthly planner where i jot everything down
PBLs, classes, dates, birthdays
n i loves fames ames cookies so much i have the bag on the wall as well
can't remember wat i put inside it though

dat handbag was my 1st Guess handbag
n the choco Milk Teddy bag is my school bag from matriculation months -i only attend like 3 or 4 months then cabut to Sunway heheh-
just to emphasize i am a med students, all those medical books and pinky stethoscopes and the blue student id tag
several wedding reception gifts from Ice's bro wedding
dat small blue creature nestling in handphone holder also the blue crayon box containing coin for gayut sessions downstairs are things from the past
plastic container berisi serdak biskut raya pun finds its way to the table
*geleng2 kepala*

stuffs on the floor next to the table?
no need to mention
all of the junks and serba mak nenek u can find there

i bet all these still sits sumwhere in the small storage closet at home
i even still have stuff from primary school days

i keep most of my stuffs for the simplest reason
everything has deep sentimental value to me
and dat is a damn good enuf reason for me

i know, i have trouble letting go of my past
dat just who i am

in one morning...

2008-07-03T16:38:00.005+08:00

i worked thru 5 ERPOC (evacuation of retained product of conception) today
in a span of less than 3 hrs
it's taxing, more mentally than physically
of course most of time i'm just observing but the anaestesiologist i'm working with today wants me to be part of the team
so i get to talk to the patient albeit brieftly, fill in the anest forms, help with transporting the patient in n out of OR

it's disheartening to see these women who mostly are of my age group forced to face such cruel fate
i can only imagine the pain of losing ur unborn child
one patient woke up after the procedure sobbing, as the wave of the realization of emptiness inside her hits
her baby no longer there...
one patient is already due on biological clock, miscarriaged the first round and the other time carrying her child ectopically
no joy of motherhood for her tis time either...

heartwrenching to see as the doctor puncture the amniotic sac and slides in the forceps
extracting wat could have been another bundle of joy and all dat's taken out are blobs of clots n mangled tissues
nothing resembling us...yet wat we used to be once

a small victory meant to be hugely celebrated

2008-07-01T16:03:00.000+08:00

Today I successfully start an IV on a real patient
yeayness to me!!!

dunno wat to write

2008-06-30T19:00:00.003+08:00

2nd day in OR
so far so good

... .... ... ..... ... . ..

penat sgt
i'll story mory later

always the 'kampung girl' at heart

2008-06-28T17:45:00.001+08:00

i love balik kampung
such good times
when i was 5, i stayed with my then-still-single aunty and both my grandparents
since i was their third grandchild, enuf said dat i was dearly spoilt
morning bath was prepared --> campur air panas lagi
my grandma always tot me around, i was never left behind
trips, weddings, ceramah etc
i remember she always attended this mengajar sessions at one of the masjid
i always go with her because i like the market place set up outside the mosque
she let me buy foods my dad wouldn't approve like etok hehe

since my aunty teaches at kindergarden, i automatically enrolled into the class
i love the breaks where we have biskut jagung cicah teh
such simplicity
ouh, did i mentioned dat our kindergarden is in mosque compound n next to cemetery?
and yeah, our monthly activity tolong bersih kubur n masjid
hehe menarik tak?

last weekend when i go back, my nenek get me my fav breakfast --> pulut hitam
similar to pulut pagi dat u eat with grated coconut n ikan kering but this one campur gula melaka i think mase msk so it's dark n sweet n u just eat it with grated coconut
sedappppppp sangatttttttt

er...er...er...dunno?

2008-06-26T15:12:00.000+08:00

family is going back to kampung today
so i ask for half day n manage to mengelak from presenting during CME
haha giler ape nk i present depan seme docs n specialist yg handal2 tu
dh la x de background ICU training, duk situ pon baru one week
undergrad medicine pon x abes lg haha

today would be my last day in ICU
gonna miss dat for sure
the cases dat i encounter so far is very interesting
i probably put sum of it up here later

next week i'll be starting in OR *yeay!*
hopefully i can practice sum skills
n watch cool surgeries too!!!